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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26288953">Kiss And Don't Tell</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexIsNotHere/pseuds/AlexIsNotHere'>AlexIsNotHere</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Love Live! Sunshine!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Sexual Content, alcohol use, background You/Kanan, crack humor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:47:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,370</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26288953</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexIsNotHere/pseuds/AlexIsNotHere</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After drunkenly hooking up at a party, Mari and Ruby agree they can never tell Dia about what happened. Their secret would be a lot easier to keep if Dia weren't passed out just downstairs. Or if Ruby knew where her clothes were.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kurosawa Ruby/Ohara Mari</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Kiss And Don't Tell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mari Ohara groaned as the sunlight streamed through the tiny crack in the blinds, perfectly managing to snipe her in the eyes. One-hundred-fifty kilometers across the vast expanse of space, and it managed to bore into her hungover skull with an infuriating degree of precision. Mari’s head was pounding, her mouth felt dry, and her stomach was queasy and upset. All telltale signs that she had hosted an absolutely killer party last night.</p>
<p>All of eight Mari’s old friends and former Aqours’ group mates had come to Italy for a vacation, and had crashed at one of the Ohara family’s numerous vacation homes for the duration of their stay. The borderline mansion of a house was definitely large enough to accommodate all of them comfortably, and together they’d spent the past week reminiscing about their high school days and touring the Italian countryside. Now they were all set to head back to Japan this evening, and so, to round the trip out with a bang, Mari had thrown an absolute rager of a party the night before, stocking up on booze and food and blasting music throughout the house at a truly unreasonable volume. Now, as Mari rolled over onto her other side, she suddenly froze up when she was reminded of another thing that had apparently happened last night. And while Mari had always just assumed she would end up bedding a member of the Kurosawa family eventually, this definitely wasn’t the sister she had expected.</p>
<p>As Mari stared at Ruby, looking peacefully asleep and <em> entirely </em>naked under her single blanket, the previous night started to come back to her- parts of it, at least. They had all started out in the downstairs living room of the house, mixing drinks and watching idol concert videos on Mari’s enormous TV for old time’s sake. At some point Kanan had suggested a drinking game, and then Mari, in an act she now regretted, had started adding even more rules to the drinking game in order to ensure they all got well and truly hammered. Eventually people had started splitting off, a few of them had gone into the kitchen to devour everything Mari owned, a few more had gone outside to make use of the Ohara family’s hot tub, and somewhere along the way Mari had, apparently, ended up sleeping with Ruby. That part was still a blank spot.</p>
<p>What was less important than figuring out the full details of what had happened the night before, however, was figuring out what was going to happen <em> next</em>. Ruby still seemed to be sound asleep, and looking to her bedside table to read her clock Mari saw that it was already nearly one in the afternoon, which told her just how late they must have been up the night before. Pausing and listening for a moment Mari didn’t hear noise coming from anywhere else in the house, which was also enough to tell her that, hopefully, none of the others were awake just yet either. Hopefully <em> Dia </em>wasn’t awake.</p>
<p>Dear god, Dia was going to kill her for this.</p>
<p>That was one thought of many that happened to be mixing through Mari’s mind at the moment, and while the very real threat of death certainly made it one of the loudest, the others still felt just as important. Namely, Mari was still trying to figure out what the hell <em> she </em> felt about all of this. Ruby was a good friend, sure, and she was cute enough, but Mari had never really thought of her as hookup and/or girlfriend material before. Had she had the occasional passing thought in the past? Sure, of course she had. But that didn’t mean much. She’d had those thoughts about all of her friends. And alright, maybe she’d had those thoughts about Ruby just a <em> little </em> more often than she’d had them about anyone else, but they were just fantasies. It wasn’t like she and Ruby were especially close in the first place. And <em> okay</em>, admittedly, whenever Ruby <em> did </em> happen to drop in while Mari was hanging around with Dia it always made Mari happy, and maybe she sometimes even hoped for it or looked forward to it, and <em> yeah </em> she sometimes felt a little disappointed if Ruby <em> didn’t </em>show up, but-</p>
<p>Oh huh wow she had a crush on Ruby okay. That was good to know. Props to drunk Mari for apparently being more self-aware and proactive than sober Mari. Unfortunately that was a whole <em> other </em> thing to deal with, and Mari still had to worry about the fact that Ruby was still very naked and very in her bed, and Dia was still very much somewhere else in the same house at this exact moment, and Mari’s kitchen had a lot of very expensive and very <em> sharp </em>knives. Focus on not getting murdered first, Mari told herself, and worry about feelings later.</p>
<p>“Ruby-chan,” Mari whispered, keeping her voice low, half so that she wouldn’t startle Ruby and half so that, if Dia <em> were </em> lurking in the hallway right outside her bedroom at this very moment, she wouldn’t be able to overhear. She reached a hand out, placing it against Ruby’s shoulder and, once more trying to ignore Ruby’s incredible nakedness, began to shake her gently. “Ruby-chan, time to wake up. Rise and shine, <em> pretty bomber head</em>.” Ruby grumbled out incoherently as Mari shook her, twisting away and curling up more under the sheets, though after a few seconds it seemed like she was starting to come around. She shifted back, and then very slowly her eyes opened. For a few seconds they didn’t focus on anything in particular, still seeming glazed over and not fully conscious, but then they looked towards Mari’s face, and then down to Mari’s body, and then down to her own body, before they blinked a few times and Ruby finally spoke.</p>
<p>“Huh…” she said, voice still a little horse in that way voices always seemed to be when someone first woke up. “Did we…”</p>
<p>“It would seem that way,” Mari replied, nodding along and pointedly averting her gaze as the blankets slipped from Ruby’s chest, no matter how badly she might have wanted to look. “I don’t entirely remember, if I’m being honest. Last night was something of a blur.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, me neither,” Ruby agreed, and out of the corner of her eye Mari could see Ruby reaching up to rub at her eyes, letting out a long yawn and a soft groan. Ruby didn’t seem as flustered over this situation as Mari would have expected, honestly, though she also supposed Ruby had grown quite a bit from the shy, skittish girl she had been as a first-year in high school. She still had some of those mannerisms about her, but she had really come into her own over the years.</p>
<p>After a few more seconds Ruby sat up straighter in the bed, and to a combination of Mari’s relief and disappointment she pulled the blankets back up around her as well, more thoroughly covering her body. Mari deemed it safe to look back at her at that point, and she had to admit, there was something charming about seeing Ruby like this, first thing in the morning with her hair down, messy and sticking up every which way, still a little bleary-eyed and tired. And while Ruby was taking this all in stride well enough, Mari could swear she saw just the faintest hint of a blush on the other girl’s cheeks as well. Not that she was probably handling the situation any better herself.</p>
<p>“So, um…” Ruby spoke up again, punctuating her words with a bit of sheepish laughter. “I’ve never really… Done something like this before. I don’t exactly know what happens next.”</p>
<p>“Believe it or not, neither have I,” Mari replied. “I’m not above a good old fashioned one night stand, but mine are usually a bit less alcohol-induced, and a bit more… Extant in my memory. The whole ‘black out and wake up in bed next to someone else’ routine is new to me, too.”</p>
<p>“Should we talk about it, then?” Ruby said. “I mean… About what happened? And how we feel about it and stuff?”</p>
<p>“That’s probably a good idea,” Mari agreed.</p>
<p>“Is there anything you’re feeling right now?” Ruby asked.</p>
<p>“Right now…” Mari repeated, taking a moment to try to collect her chaotic, disorganized, ever-shifting collection of thoughts. “Right now I suppose I’m trying to decide… Whether this was a good idea, or whether it was just a drunken mistake. And I’m wishing there was an easy way to figure that out. It’s especially difficult since I can’t even remember it happening in the first place”</p>
<p>“Me neither,” Ruby agreed, and then there was a moment of pause, before she looked over at Mari. “We could do it again.”</p>
<p>“...Excuse me?”</p>
<p>“Now that we’re sober,” Ruby replied. “We’ll remember it this time, and that should give us our answer.”</p>
<p>“You’re serious right now?” Mari asked, and Ruby nodded. “Fuck it, alright.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>“So that wasn’t a mistake.”</p>
<p>“Definitely not a mistake.” Mari laid next to Ruby on her bed, both of them breathing heavily as they stared up at the ceiling, still coming down from round two. “Glad we got that figured out.”</p>
<p>“Definitely,” Ruby agreed.</p>
<p>“So…” Mari went on. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way… What does that make us? Aside from extremely good at sex, of course.”</p>
<p>“Hmm,” Ruby replied, finally pulling herself back up into a sitting position, and Mari couldn’t resist the temptation to steal another sideways glance at her body as she did so. “Yoshiko-chan always told me not to put out until the third date, and onee-chan told me no sex until I’m married, but I think it’s safe to say I missed both those milestones.”</p>
<p>“Of course Yocchan would give you advice like that,” Mari scoffed. “That’s probably why she’s still a virgin. I can’t help but noticed you’ve dodged my question, though," she added on. Ruby glanced back over her shoulder towards Mari at that point, giggling softly and flashing Mari a smile that made her heart skip a beat inside her chest.</p>
<p>“Take me out to dinner once we’re back in Japan, alright?”</p>
<p>“It’s a date!” Mari agreed, clasping one hand over her bare chest in a rough approximation of where her heart was. After that she finally pushed herself up as well, looking towards the door, then back towards Ruby. “As for right now, however… We should probably focus on getting you out of here as quietly as possible. It still doesn’t sound like anyone’s awake, but I imagine Dia would kill me if she found out I stole her little sister’s virginity.”</p>
<p>“Aww. It’s really cute that you think you were my first,” Ruby replied, hopping off Mari’s bed before Mari had the chance to react to that. “You’re right, though. Onee-chan’s gonna flip if she finds out about last night. I should get out of here as quietly as possible.”</p>
<p>“We can just sneak you down the hall to one of the guest rooms,” Mari said, dragging herself out of bed and walking over to her dresser. “I’m not actually sure where Dia ended up passing out, but hopefully we can get you there without even having to-”</p>
<p>“Um… Mari-chan?” Mari had just tugged her underwear on, but she paused when Ruby spoke up, turning around to find Ruby standing there in the center of the room, still entirely naked.</p>
<p>“Is something wrong?” Mari asked.</p>
<p>“I can’t find my clothes.” Mari blinked a few times when she heard that, then looked around her room once over, scanning every surface for a sign of Ruby’s clothes, before finally looking back at Ruby herself again.</p>
<p>“Are you sure?”</p>
<p>“Positive,” Ruby replied. “They’re not in here.”</p>
<p>“Well that’s not great,” Mari muttered, furrowing her brow as she tried to figure out what to do next. “You could borrow a few of my clothes, I suppose.”</p>
<p>“No good,” Ruby said, shaking her head. “If we all get blackout drunk and then I come out wearing your clothes the next morning onee-chan will know something is up.”</p>
<p>“Then I guess I could-” Mari started to say, though before she could finish the sentence their situation went from bad to worse as, suddenly, there was a knock at the bedroom door. Mari froze as she heard that, locking eyes with Ruby, who seemed similarly wide-eyed and terrified. They stared at each other for a moment, and then Mari looked towards the door, calling out while doing her damndest to keep her voice sounding normal.</p>
<p>“Uhh, who is it?”</p>
<p>“It’s me,” You’s voice called back, and Mari breathed out a sigh of relief when she realized it wasn’t Dia. Still, the less people who knew about what had happened the better, and so, looking towards Ruby again, Mari frantically gestured underneath her bed.</p>
<p>“One moment!” she called through the door. “Let me make myself decent!”</p>
<p>“We used to change in front of each other all the time,” You replied. “I know what your tits look like by now.”</p>
<p>“Maybe back in high school you did, but they’ve gotten saggy since then! I’m very self-conscious about them!” Mari winced as soon as those words left her mouth, but hey, an excuse was an excuse. She scrambled to get a full outfit together as quickly as possible, and meanwhile Ruby took the opportunity to dive for cover under Mari’s bed, shielding herself from the line of sight from the door. Eventually Mari finally managed to get fully dressed, albeit not especially <em> nicely</em>, and with Ruby out of view she scrambled over to the door, tossing it open to greet You.</p>
<p>“Hello there,” Mari said, casually leaning over and casually bracing herself against the doorframe so she could casually block the entire doorway, casually. “What can I do for you?” You didn’t look the greatest at the moment either, clearly hungover from the night before, though even if she was wearing the same clothes she had been wearing yesterday she was still <em> wearing clothes</em>, which meant she was doing better than Ruby was.</p>
<p>“Kanan and I wanna borrow your car,” You said. “We need to go to the drug store.”</p>
<p>“What for?”</p>
<p>“Plan B.” Immediately, Mari’s eyes narrowed.</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“I feel like maybe it’s pretty fucking obvious why.” Mari let out a sigh at that, but she couldn’t argue with the point.</p>
<p>“You’re sure you’re good to drive right now?”</p>
<p>“Between the two of us I’m sure we can manage.”</p>
<p>“Alright then. The keys should be in a bowl by the front door,” Mari said. “If you crash my car I’m pretending I don’t know you and reporting it stolen.”</p>
<p>“Noted. Hey, by the way,” You added on, peering past Mari now, into her room. “How’s Ruby-chan doing?” As soon as Mari heard that she froze in place, eyes going wide while a sweat broke out on her forehead.</p>
<p>“E-Excuse me?”</p>
<p>“Ruby. She’s in there, right? You guys totally hooked up last night?”</p>
<p>“Hahaha, what an absurd thing to say!” Mari scoffed. “What would ever give you that idea?”</p>
<p>“You’ve got a hickey on your neck the size of a small island,” You said, causing Mari to attempt- and utterly fail- to look down at her own neck. “Clearly you hooked up with somebody. I passed everyone except for Ruby-chan and Yoshiko-chan on the way up here so obviously it wasn’t any of them. And there’s no way Yoshiko-chan’s dominant enough to give you a hickey like that, so… Ruby.” Mari was sweating even more at that point, and she wanted to deny it, but she couldn’t pretend that You’s logic wasn’t air-tight.</p>
<p>“Listen,” she said, dropping her voice down and taking another look up and down the hall to ensure nobody else was within earshot. “If word of this reaches Dia she’ll go back to Japan in police custody after <em> murdering me</em>, so if you could keep this between the two of us-”</p>
<p>“Relax, I’m great at keeping secrets,” You promised. “Riko-chan’s mom is having an affair and I haven’t told anyone about it.” Mari simply stared back at You in response to that, and You stared back in silence for a few seconds, until a grimace appeared on her face. “Until now.”</p>
<p>“Please don’t fuck me on this, You-chan.”</p>
<p>“That kinda seems like Ruby-chan’s job now.”</p>
<p>“This is precisely what I’m talking about.”</p>
<p>“Alright, alright,” You promised. “I’ll just tell Kanan so that if I start to say something she can punch me to shut me up and that way I won’t leak it to anyone else.”</p>
<p>“You can’t tell Kanan,” Mari insisted. “I love her dearly, but if she found out Ruby-chan and I had sex she wouldn’t be able to resist using that information to torment Dia. She would gladly sacrifice me to take Dia down in the process.”</p>
<p>“You can’t ask me to keep a secret from my girlfriend,” You protested. “We tell each other everything. Plus if she finds out I’m hiding stuff from her she'll make me sleep in my dog cage again."</p>
<p>“I hate so much about the person you choose to be.” You just flashed Mari a grin and a peace sign as she said that, backing down the hall, and Mari made no effort to stop her from going. The moment she was around the corner Mari slammed the door shut again, before turning back to the room and calling out to Ruby. “She’s gone. You can come out now.” A moment later she heard rustling under her bed, before Ruby’s head eventually popped up on the other side.</p>
<p>“So that’s not great.”</p>
<p>“It’s not,” Mari sighed in agreement. "Honestly, she and Kanan are almost enough to make <em>me</em> feel vanilla."</p>
<p>"I meant the fact that she knows."</p>
<p>"Right, that too. Hopefully she’ll manage to keep her mouth shut. And for the time being,” Mari added on, glancing down towards Ruby’s bare shoulders, which were just barely visible over the edge of the bed, “we have other things to worry about.”</p>
<p>“I think I remembered something while I was hiding under there,” Ruby said, causing Mari’s face to light up.</p>
<p>“Really? Out with it, then!”</p>
<p>“It’s kinda foggy,” Ruby replied. “All of last night is still a blur. But… I think I remember being in the bathroom for a while.”</p>
<p>“Too much alcohol can do that,” Mari agreed. “Beer in particular always roughs up my digestive system.”</p>
<p>“Gross,” Ruby replied, twisting her face into a grimace. “I meant both of us, together.”</p>
<p>“Really? I didn’t think I was into that sort of thing, though I suppose drunk me has some-”</p>
<p>“In the shower!” Ruby interrupted, before Mari could go any further with that. “I think we took a shower together!” Mari blinked back at Ruby a few times as she said that, trying to recover from her own train of thought while also doing her best to recall any memory of that amidst the traces of her blackout. She’d noticed they’d both woken up with especially messy hair, though, and while she’d just written it off as sex hair at the time, she supposed it would make sense if they’d ended up passing out without giving it a chance to dry.</p>
<p>“Do you think your clothes might be in there, then?” Mari asked.</p>
<p>“It would make sense, right?” Ruby replied. “I doubt I would have wanted to wear them into the shower, and maybe I just never put them back on after the fact.”</p>
<p>“That’s a good lead, then,” Mari said, tapping her fingers against her chin. “In which case the only question is <em> which </em>bathroom.”</p>
<p>“I don’t really remember,” Ruby admitted. “Can’t you just check them all?”</p>
<p>“This house has seventeen bathrooms, and we’re on the clock here, Ruby-chan. Think!” Mari insisted. “Rack your brain as hard as you can!” Ruby scrunched her face up in concentration at Mari’s prompting, looking like she was trying her hardest to think back to the night before to uncover any little detail that she could. She looked adorable like that, and Mari had to remind herself that there were still more important things at hand. After a moment Ruby perked back up again, looking excited.</p>
<p>“It was the bathroom where everything was shaped like seashells!” she said.</p>
<p>“Cockle or murex?” Mari replied.</p>
<p>“Excuse me?”</p>
<p>“We have two shell bathrooms.”</p>
<p>“Of course you do.”</p>
<p>“Did they look like this,” Mari said, tracing a shape through the air with her fingers. “Or like this,” she asked, drawing another shape.</p>
<p>“Uhh, the first one,” Ruby replied.</p>
<p>“Cockle, then.”</p>
<p>“You actually expected me to know this?”</p>
<p>“We grew up in a beach town, Ruby-chan. This feels like a failing on your part, really,” Mari replied, rolling her eyes as she walked back towards her bedroom door. “You just stay in here, and if anybody comes into my room hide. Or shoot them for trespassing.”</p>
<p>“Do you own a gun?”</p>
<p>“I own several. Careful if you decide to rummage through my dresser drawers for any reason.”</p>
<p>“Noted.” With a little wave over her shoulder Mari slipped out of her bedroom, shutting the door behind her before starting to creep down the hall. She still didn’t know where the others had ended up passing out, but from the looks of it, Dia was still asleep. The longer that could remain the case, the better.</p>
<p>Mari’s house was enormous enough that it took her a good two or three minutes just to walk from her bedroom to the bathroom in question, but eventually she arrived. Even once she stepped through the doorway she still couldn’t actually say she remembered anything Ruby had been telling her about their exploits in here, which was disappointing, really. One glance around the room was enough to tell Mari that Ruby had been right, though: there were, in fact, a number of clothes scattered across the floor, and a quick look was enough to tell Mari that, while some of them were her own, some of them weren’t. She recognized the outfit Ruby had been wearing the day before, and she hurried over to pick it up, eager to get this back to her room as quickly as possible. No sooner had she started to gather the clothes off the floor, though, than she heard a groaning noise coming from the other side of the room.</p>
<p>Mari practically jumped out of her skin at the sound, and she looked over just in time to see Yoshiko, slowly sitting up inside her bathtub, fully clothed and looking entirely dazed and disoriented. Mari froze in place while Yoshiko blinked a few times, looking like she was gradually taking stock of her surroundings, before she finally looked over towards Mari. Another few seconds passed in silence, both of them staring at each other, until Yoshiko eventually spoke.</p>
<p>“What’s going on?”</p>
<p>“I could ask you the same question,” Mari replied. “Did you sleep in there last night?” Upon being asked that Yoshiko had to take another moment to look at the room around her, then down at herself, then back up at Mari again.</p>
<p>“Yeah. I guess so.” When she heard that Mari was simply exasperated at first, though after a moment the color suddenly drained from her face, a far worse question coming into her mind.</p>
<p>“I don’t suppose you, uh… Remember anyone coming in here at any point last night, do you?” Yoshiko rubbed her head, looking like she was thinking for a few seconds before she answered.</p>
<p>“Vaguely,” she said, making Mari’s stomach drop. “I think… I think Riko-chan came in here to throw up,” she went on, and Mari breathed out a sigh of relief. She probably should have been concerned about Riko’s health and safety, really, but knowing she and Ruby hadn't been caught was more important right now.</p>
<p>“Is that so? Well in that case, I should probably go check on her!” Mari replied. “So if you’ll excuse me-”</p>
<p>“Hang on a second,” Yoshiko said, eyes narrowing, once more making Mari flinch. She looked towards Mari, eyes working her up and down for a second, before landing on the pile of clothing in Mari’s arms. “Are those… Ruby-chan’s panties?” Mari tensed up when Yoshiko asked that, and she started to open her mouth to speak before pausing, another thought coming into her mind.</p>
<p>“Why do you recognize Ruby-chan’s panties before you recognize any of her other clothing?” A long moment of silence passed between them after that, Yoshiko staring at Mari while Mari stared back at her, before, wordlessly, Yoshiko lowered herself back down into the tub and out of view. “Pervert,” Mari muttered under her breath, rolling her eyes as she exited the bathroom.</p>
<p>So far, everything seemed like it was going well enough. You was onto them, but hopefully she would manage to keep it a secret. And Yoshiko might have figured something out, but with the ammo Mari had against her she <em> absolutely </em> wasn’t going to say anything. Now Mari just had to get these clothes back to Ruby, and then get Ruby out of her bedroom, and as long as she remembered to cover her own hickey before going back out they would be in the clear.</p>
<p>She, mercifully, didn’t encounter anyone else on the way back to her bedroom, and once she got there she opened the door, slipping back inside. Glancing around she noticed that Ruby wasn’t there, and she was just about to open her mouth to call out when Ruby came bursting out of the closet, brandishing one of Mari's handguns.</p>
<p>“Who’s there??” Ruby shouted, fully naked, aiming a pistol in Mari’s direction.</p>
<p>“What the fuck??” Mari shouted back, dropping her clothing to the floor and throwing her hands in the air.</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s just you,” Ruby said, smiling as she lowered the gun back down. “Did you find my clothes?”</p>
<p>“As attractive as you look while holding a gun,” Mari replied, placing a hand over her still-racing heart, “I think we’re going to need to give you some safety lessons. Give me that.” She reached out for the pistol, and Ruby handed it back to her. “Your clothes are in that pile,” Mari added on, while beginning to make sure the gun was properly unloaded so she could return it to her very secure dresser. “Go ahead and put them on.” In another minute the gun was back in its proper place, and Ruby was fully clothed once more. They were in the home stretch now, and all they needed to do was get Ruby out of Mari’s room without anyone seeing. What could go wrong?</p>
<p>“Alright,” Mari said. “Are you ready to get back downstairs?”</p>
<p>“I’m ready,” Ruby replied, nodding at her.</p>
<p>“Excellent. If anyone else asks, you passed out in the living room or one of the guest bedrooms, and you were down there all night.”</p>
<p>“Got it.”</p>
<p>“Now,” Mari said, scurrying over to the door. “Let’s just make sure nobody’s coming…” Opening the door and poking her head through the crack she looked up and down the hall, making sure they were well and truly alone. Seeing nobody else she nodded, waving Ruby over and letting her slip past, out into the hall. Ruby looked like she was about to run towards the staircase, though she paused after just a step, then turned around, looking back at Mari.</p>
<p>“Hey… You haven’t forgotten about our date, right?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Of course not,” Mari replied. “I hope you’re ready, because once we get back to Japan I’ll take you out to the biggest, fanciest, most expensive dinner you’ve ever seen.”</p>
<p>“Good,” Ruby replied. “I’m looking forward to it.” She smiled after saying that, and then took a step forward, reaching out and curling her fingers around the collar of Mari’s shirt. Tugging Mari down Ruby leaned in to press their lips together, and Mari felt her own cheeks flush slightly as Ruby kissed her. The kiss lasted a long moment, during which Mari slowly let her eyes begin to drift shut- and she maybe would have stayed there for too long, were it not for the voice suddenly calling out to them.</p>
<p>“Ruby-chan! Mari-chan!” Ruby and Mari both pulled away from each other violently when they heard that, whipping their heads down the hallway to see Hanamaru standing at the other end of it, cheeks flushed bright pink from what she just saw.</p>
<p>“Hanamaru-chan!” Ruby blurted out in response. “It’s- It’s not what it looks like!”</p>
<p>“Yeah!” Mari agreed. “We were, uh- Here in Italy it’s perfectly normal to kiss people as a greeting! Get over here so I can say hello to you too!”</p>
<p>“Never!” Hanamaru gasped, clasping a hand over her mouth before beginning to approach them, stumbling noticeably as she did so. “I’m saving myself. For… For, uh… Bigger her,” she said, pointing a finger in Ruby’s direction. For a moment Ruby and Mari stared at Hanamaru in confusion, then looked at each other, then back at Hanamaru, before it finally started to dawn on them.</p>
<p>“Oh my god,” Ruby said.</p>
<p>“She’s still drunk,” Mari concluded. It made sense, really. Hanamaru was the smallest out of any of them, even smaller than Ruby, and she wasn’t exactly a regular drinker either. If she had been trying to keep up with the others during their drinking games, it tracked that she still wouldn’t have sobered up. Frankly, it was a miracle she hadn’t just died of alcohol poisoning. Fortunately… “This can work to our advantage.”</p>
<p>“How so?” Ruby asked.</p>
<p>“Look at how wasted she is right now,” Mari insisted. “It's perfect: We take her over to the stairs, push her down them, and then boom! No witnesses, and it looks like an accident. We’ll be in the clear!”</p>
<p>“...Or, y’know,” Ruby replied, “she might just be so drunk she doesn’t remember this.”</p>
<p>“She <em> might </em> be. But she might not be. You’re taking a big risk there.”</p>
<p>“Right, but I still think I’m leaning towards the plan that doesn’t involve murder.”</p>
<p>“Boo,” Mari huffed, while Ruby rolled her eyes. “You’re no fun.”</p>
<p>“Come on,” Ruby said, reaching out towards Hanamaru. “Let’s get you back to bed.”</p>
<p>“Murderrrrr,” Hanamaru mumbled, stumbling forward and more or less falling up against Ruby. “Speaking of murder…” she said, leaning in and not-quite-whispering into Ruby's ear. “I can’t wait for your sister to <em> murder </em>this pussy.” Ruby stared blankly ahead when she heard that, blinking a few times before looking over to Mari.</p>
<p>“You know what?” she said. “If onee-chan does end up killing you, I suddenly think I’ll understand.”</p>
<p>“Is the staircase plan sounding more tempting?”</p>
<p>“A little bit.” Despite that Ruby managed to resist the urge, and she and Mari lead Hanamaru back down the hall towards one of the many unused guest bedrooms. Hanamaru protested a little bit along the way, saying she wasn’t tired and didn’t want to sleep, and yet the moment she saw a bed she was practically throwing herself onto it, landing face-first into the pillows.</p>
<p>“Goodnight, everyone,” she murmured, voice deeply muffled.</p>
<p>“Goodnight, dear! Sleep well! Sweet dreams!” Mari replied.</p>
<p>“Ruby-chaaaaan,” Hanamaru mumbled out.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Maru-chan?”</p>
<p>“Tell Dia-san… She can join me… If she wansa…”</p>
<p>“I’m not going to do that.”</p>
<p>“You’re a good friend Ruby-chan…” And with that Hanamaru appeared to pass out again, allowing both Ruby and Mari to breathe out a long sigh of relief.</p>
<p>“I think we actually got away with it,” Ruby said.</p>
<p>“It’s a miracle, right?” Mari replied. Actually, it wasn’t that much of a miracle at all, and it really shouldn't have been this hard for them to cover this up. If anything, the real miracle was just how many things had managed to go wrong for them in a row. Still, they had gotten through it, and from here on out it seemed as though they were in the clear. For a few more seconds they simply stood there, watching Hanamaru sleep, basking in the sweet sense of relief that came with it. And then, out of the corner of her eye, Ruby glanced at Mari.</p>
<p>“Hey,” she said. “Would we be tempting fate if we had sex one more time?”</p>
<p>“Probably,” Mari replied. “Do you wanna do it anyway?”</p>
<p>“A little bit.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>By some fortunate twist of luck, they had gotten through it. You eventually got back from the store and managed to keep her mouth shut, and Yoshiko didn’t say a word about her encounter with Mari earlier either. Hanamaru eventually woke up again as well, the effects of her drunkenness having finally worn off, and just as Mari and Ruby had hoped she didn’t appear to remember anything that had happened earlier. All things considered, it looked like they had managed to keep the previous night’s exploits a secret. It was, as Mari was so fond of saying, the perfect crime.</p>
<p>Sooner or later the other members of their little group started to wake up as well. Riko was pale as a ghost, and had some vague yet grim memories of puking up half her body weight before passing out. Chika was surprisingly chipper, meanwhile, and was having quite a good time talking off the ear of a poor, unfortunate, extremely hungover Dia.</p>
<p>After a hearty breakfast, a few cold showers, and a couple dozen cups of coffee, the more hungover members of the group at least seemed to be recovering well enough, and from there they had all set about packing up their belongings in preparation for their flight back to Japan.</p>
<p>“Mari, do you have a phone charger I could borrow?” Dia was saying. “It appears I forgot to plug mine in last night.”</p>
<p>“Over by the couch,” Mari replied, stacking up bags of luggage near the door, while checking on the status of their flights on her own phone.</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>“You know,” Kanan said, sprawled out on the couch alongside You and Chika. “They serve drinks on our airline. I checked the menu and they’re not even that expensive. What do you guys say? Round two on the way back?”</p>
<p>“Hell yeah!” Chika agreed. “I’m down!”</p>
<p>“Please no…” Riko groaned, from where she was lying face down in the middle of the living room.</p>
<p>“Pussy,” Kanan muttered.</p>
<p>“Quitter,” You added on.</p>
<p>“Do you want more water?” Ruby asked, sitting on the floor next to Riko and idly combing her fingers through her friend’s hair.</p>
<p>“I want death,” Riko muttered.</p>
<p>“Mari-chan has a gun upstairs.” At that point Riko finally lifted her head, looking at Ruby through narrowed eyes.</p>
<p>“<em>What</em>?”</p>
<p>“It’s perfectly legal!” Mari called back, tossing another bag onto the pile. “I have all the necessary paperwork to prove it!”</p>
<p>“Mari?” Dia called out.</p>
<p>“If you’re about to give me another long-winded lecture on gun control you can save it for-” Mari started to respond, though she cut herself off mid-sentence when she actually looked over at Dia. Dia was staring down at her phone, eyebrows creased down, face slowly turning pink, and then red, vein practically bulging out of her forehead, and the moment Mari saw that her heart stopped. She glanced at Ruby, who was staring back at her in an equal panic, and then returned her eyes to Dia, putting on her best bit of sheepish, innocent laughter. “Is everything alright over there, Dia?”</p>
<p>“Would you care to explain to me,” Dia said, turning her phone around for Mari to see, “what <em> this </em> is?” Mari leaned in a little bit closer to get a better look, and then the color drained from her face when she made out what she was staring at: a text, from herself, reading “guess who has 2 thums n just fucked ur sister this guyyyyyyyyyyyy,” accompanied by a blurry photo of the ceiling that, Mari had to assume, would have been a selfie of her pointing at herself, had she remembered to switch to her front-facing camera.</p>
<p>“Haha, well, who can really say?” Mari replied, suddenly sweating bullets. “People say the craziest things when they’re drunk! Why, I seem to remember one time when <em> you </em> drunk texted <em> me </em>about wanting to-”</p>
<p>“<em>Mari</em>,” Dia seethed, and the fact that she wasn’t yelling was somehow more scary than it would have been if she had been. “<em>Did you fuck my sister</em>?”</p>
<p>“Onee-chan-” Ruby started to say, though before she could get another word in Dia raised a finger in her direction to silence her.</p>
<p>“Answer the question, <em> Mari</em>.”</p>
<p>“If I were you I would start running right about now,” Kanan chimed in.</p>
<p>“It wasn’t my fault, really!” Mari insisted. “We were so drunk, I don’t even remember the first time!”</p>
<p>“The FIRST time??” Dia repeated, and Mari immediately realized that had been a mistake. “How many times did you fuck her??” Mari stood there for a few seconds as she pondered that question, before responding with a question of her own.</p>
<p>“That depends. If one of us came multiple times but we never actually stopped in between does that still count as one? Or-”</p>
<p>“I’ll fucking <em> kill </em> you,” Dia hissed. “You’re <em> dead</em>.”</p>
<p>“Don’t hurt her, onee-chan!” Ruby blurted out. “I love her!”</p>
<p>“You WHAT??” Dia snapped, whipping her head around to glare at Ruby, eyes wide, nostrils flared out.</p>
<p>“Not really,” Ruby replied. “I just figured that would distract you long enough to give her a head start.” Sure enough, when Dia looked back to where Mari had been standing she found that Mari was already out the front door, booking it down the driveway and towards the street.</p>
<p>“Get back here!” Dia shouted, immediately bolting out the door after her. “You can’t outrun me forever!”</p>
<p>Kanan, You, Chika, and Ruby all watched her leave, and even Riko had lifted her head enough to watch the drama unfolding as well, despite how much worse the shouting was making her headache. The loud, chaotic energy left behind by the conversation at least faded quickly as soon as Dia and Mari were gone, and then it was just a few seconds of long, awkward silence, before Kanan eventually broke it.</p>
<p>“We’re not gonna make our flight, are we?”</p>
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